Right, now it's my turn!

Hello again,

This is partially in response to Ari’s and Pia’s blogs about the topic of fangirling and guys – I thought I’d put my own spin on what they have said.
I’m a little different to these two. Initially, I used to be very shy about guys, maybe because I had a little sister, who would berate me endlessly if I said anything (specifically I am talking about my first fangirl experience, Ben McKenzie of The O.C fame). In year 7 and 8 I never said anything to anyone, until my sister watched The O.C with me and said “Don’t you reckon he’s hot?” and I agreed.
I quickly moved on though, discovering Robin Hood and the gorgeous Jonas Armstrong with the help of Ari, and others after that. Speaking of that actually, it makes me think of meeting Ari about two and a half years ago, and I first asked her about guys, and she went on a long rant about how guys our age are all immature and painful and how she had no interest in getting a boyfriend. At the time, I had to agree with her, and to an extent I still do, but when I asked her about hot celebs, she looked at me like I was crazy. I thought, “Ah, she’s a bit younger than me, hasn’t gone through it yet, it will happen eventually”. Now, I’ve discussed this with her since, and she has stated she was not lying about it at the time, but it took her absolutely AGES to admit to me that she had more than one reason for watching Robin Hood! (Sorry, random tangent, I do this a lot, just warning you!)
Anyway, so it probably wasn’t until I had some really close friends that I was willing to talk about it, but really, my fangirling has never been of an obsessive nature, more a passing fancy. I don’t have strange dreams with them involved, unlike Ari (though at times I wish it did! ) and I do not stare at photos for ages, I can’t for some reason, it feels…wrong. Okay, that came out a bit weird but I hope someone knows what I’m saying. I think these guys are very cute, and I have been known to re-watch shirtless scenes, but I’m not really obsessed if that makes any sense.
I used to not mention any of these things to anyone, but now I can have a conversation with girls at school who are not close friends about how good looking the guys from Gossip Girl are and no-one will judge me. In fact, I recently discovered a number of girls I know have a thing for David Tennant as well, though the topic has never really come up with some of them. I think the reason I didn’t talk about it for so long, particularly at high school was a fear of being judged. It goes back to primary school when one of my ‘friends’ used to pick on the rest of us about boys, and say if we didn’t like anyone (I’m talking about people we knew, guys in our classes here) then we must be lesbians (although, she never liked anyone….but that’s another story). Most of us were in general a little young for fangirling, and then at one stage I expressed that one of the guys in our class was at least ‘semi-normal’ and not really mean to me, unlike most of them, and the entire thing got blown way out of proportion, and it wasn’t helped by the fact that whenever we played the ABC skipping game where whichever letter you land on is the first letter of the name of a guy you liked, I stopped on the letter ‘L’ (his name was Liam – and it was NOT INTENTIONAL – I NEVER LIKED HIM!!!!). So since then, I didn’t discuss it, until by a few years into high school I discovered basically everyone had the fangirl gene in them about someone or another, it was just more prominent in some.
I still get a bit embarrassed discussing these things with my mum, and particularly my dad, but I try not to let it bother me anymore. Ari has said before she can’t discuss it with her mum, but mine is pretty good about these things in all honesty. One time, Ari and Mum and I ended up having this very long conversation about guys when she was taking us home from a concert. It made me feel a bit weird to start with, but I’ve soon gotten used to it, I’d just prefer she didn’t mention these things to randoms like she did last night (again, another story which I wish to tell at some stage)! And apart from calling men she likes (celebrities, and also my dad) ‘a spunkrat’ – don’t ask! Apparently it was a ‘cool’ phrase for a while, I consider myself pretty lucky. Ari and I had trouble deciding which was worse once, her mum saying ‘Isn’t this the guy you and Di think is a bit dishy?’ about James McAvoy while watching ‘Atonement’, or my mum’s insistence at saying ‘spunkrat’ at any opportunity!
So, in conclusion, I’m probably the most open fangirl of the three of us, but also most likely the least fangirly, so I’m not sure how that works. I can safely skim the fangirl surface with most people (my own age) I’m relatively comfortable around, but will only go deeper into true fangirling with a few select people, these two and a couple of other close friends. I haven’t really found the satisfaction in fangirling with other fangirls on forums as of yet, I have used them a bit but not that much. This is probably though because I am the first person to admit I FAR prefer to actually TALK to people in person, or at least over the phone, rather than to chat on MSN, I find it impersonal, and you don’t get to hear or see people’s reactions to things (and no, emoticons do not count!). I think, however, at some point (hopefully during the summer holidays, well after exams and my trip to France I shall have time to discover the real joys of forums.
Speaking of time, I haven’t been doing my homework in the time I’ve been writing this, so I best go! Sorry it was such a long one!

Cya!

xoxo Di