3rd Post Lucky?

Right, well, I just got back from Gloria Jeans, and not even a regular iced chocolate with cream and caramel and chocolate powder made me feel better. I'm still just as apathetic as I was yesterday, if not more, and now I have a headache.

My Horrible Day:

1. Get woken up at 6:15am because sister wants to drag you into the kitchen to show you that a breakfast news program is talking about David Tennant leaving Doctor Who. You watch and agree vehemently with the reporter's comments "to many people he was the Doctor and he's gonna be tough to replace". Scowl, go back to bed.

2. On drive to school, your mother asks you exactly where you see yourself in 10 years time. You get this lecture a lot, why acting and singing is a stupid career path and you'll end up nowhere, broke and "you'll feel stupid then, won't you? When you're watching the successful actors on stage holding the broom ready to sweep the stage when they're done". Usually this speech doesn't faze you, but today you're horrified and shattered to discover that for the first time, when you look 10 years into the future, you can't see anything.
Get to school, go straight to bathroom because you don't want anyone in the year to see you cry.

3. Discover that your rival at school has secured the Awards Day vocal solo, and you don't feel any right to be jealous cause you didn't try out because you're developing nodules on your vocal chords due to misuse (ie. singing 24/7 because you'd die if you didn't.) and didn't think you could get the high note, and you knew she'd get picked anyway cause everyone damn well LOVES her.

4. Spend 1st and 2nd periods being apathetic, deliver a half baked speech and powerpoint on post WWII entertainment in period one and listen to debates in period 2. Go to recess, buy ice cream because you feel so depressed, then feel disgusting because you ate unneccessary calories.

5. Period 3 - the potential saving grace of your day - drama! Seems like a good way to spend 80 minutes, and you're the first one there and you're early. The whole theatre/studio is dark and empty, so you close your eyes and breathe in the magic. Start spinning, feel immediately better. Enter the bitchy girls. Get caught spinning in the middle of a dark theatre. Hear laughter. Sit down meekly, like you always do.

6. Still period 3 - drama teacher enters. You're excited, because they're about to tell you the documentary drama groups that made it into Creative Arts night - where the school puts on a selection of the best drama, design and tech, music and art displays for parents and families. There are three groups in your class, and two get picked. The group you are in is the only group that misses out. Again - this happened for you in the Shakespeare Festival too. Then, you get told that the group that isn't in it (because the other two groups now have to rehearse for their big performance) have to go and help set up the hall for the school play that's next week that you tried out for (and didn't get into). You don't go to the hall, instead you go to the bathroom and sob. Hope and pray that no one in the class finds you, get found by the new girl (who's really nice, if someone had to find me it would be her, admittedly). Make your way reluctantly up to the hall, aware the whole time that everyone can see your bright red face and red eyes.

7. Lunch - buy another ice cream, having forgotten the feeling of disgust from recess. Feel it return.

8. Period 4 - work on service project for 80 mins, whilst there contemplate how to break to parents that you failed maths for the first time in your life because you stopped breathing during the test from the panic.

9. After school - meet up with outside of school friend, go to Gloria Jeans, act happy

10. After Gloria Jeans, eat chips. Remember dialogue from New Earth ("that was our first date" "we had chips!") and nearly burst into tears. Again.

11. Get home to discover no one has noticed any change in your behaviour because you live in your room (which they remind you of). Note baked dinner and lack of hunger from junk food ingestion and general depression. Write blog


I need help.

Bye
~Pia.